A Line Crosser for Christ

Major Transition Period in my Life

2006-05-07T13:08:00.000+08:00

Hi guys I am back again.. Firstly for the latest update,I did not take up the offer of a prison officer in the end...Because of the rank that they give me was too low and also after careful consideration, there are not much prospect for me even when I decide to have my degree course in future.. The promotion and education scheme inside is not what I had thought of it initially...Anyway I just want to said that I still want to thank God for the strength for me to go through so much of the interview and tests that I required to go through...Anyway guys I had passed my fitness test even when I am sick on that day...So I know is not my strength that I can overcome all these but by God'd Grace!!Really can see a miracle happening in my life...And let me realise that God is indeed Good to me...In All Ways!! In the trail test...I do over and beyond the average result expected of me...Is a miracle...haha..However in the end I still did not take up the job offer but at least I see how God move and can work in my life to make things possible when everything seems to be impossible...
So after rejecting the prison job offer, I manage to find a perament job doing sales admin...However the devil is out again to steal and to destroy...I come to realise that I am not suitable for admin work ...because is too boring and the people and environment there was so dead too...I really can't stand it even after working for two days...So on the second day of my work...One agency called me and told mi that a It company wanted me to go over to do marketing...Marketing to me is always what I wanted to do..cos to mi is never boring...Is challenging and very interpersonal lor...But but I said I already got a job already!!Oh no!!Does it means that I got to give up what I like to do??So the agency told mi to tell me to quit the current job that I don't have interest in and move to do something that I like...I am in such a confusion and dilemma!!God helps mi!!And in the end I just pluck out the courage to tender my resignation to the company on my second day of work...To me, it was such a torture,cos is never good to quit a job after 2 days of work...But I just do it thinking that I cant learn or promote in such a position...
This was really a hard time for mi...I am wondering whether God is there for me...I feel so guilt and sad...But of course there is none other than my boyfriend who came all the way down from work to find me cos he knows that I am so sad and dishearten...Dear thank a lot...I owe u this time round again...haha...Anyway I thought to myself I should just dun think of the past and move on cos I am starting my new job next week that is 2 May 2006..
So guys today is the end of my first week at work...In my new job working in marketing department in an IT firm...I really need to thank God for granting the deep desire of my heart in wanting always to work in a marketing department...And indeed I got in..And I had learn a lot and enjoy what I am doing at work...This is the job that I love and will stay there for quite a while to learn and expose myself to Marketing...So now currently I had a project on hand that is to create a full page advertisement for my company's products on MOE magazine and is due this coming week and had 2 meetings to attend in the same week too..Thus I really need all ur prayers...And whoever see this please help to pray for me..Pray for wisdom,creativity and favor upon me...
So here once again I want to take this opportunity to thank my cell group members for praying for me...And also my Dear who never fails to encourage or be by my side all these while...Dear thank and love you always

The brand new Year of 2006

2006-04-02T13:40:00.000+08:00

hi guys...A quarter of year 2006 had passed by till now already so what had u guys doing??found a new job or career or been in a new school or in a brand new relationship with someone in your life etc...anyway think by now...almost all my friends had found either a part time or full time job lor...and by the way i had graduated from Polytechnic and is invitated to attend my final year graduation ceremony this coming july...yeah...i got my GCE "N", "O" then my CGE "A" Level and now finally my "Diploma" Certificate...Come to think about the journey i went through obtaining all these certificates...is really such a tough ride all these years for me...but got to say God is always here for me...in each of my trials and tribulations...Thank You!!
So as for mi now...is really a crossroad for me now...to choose which career i want to go in...i went for alot interviews already by now..got private compaines and even Government bodies like CPF...All of these compaines all wanted me to go in but never ever did i imagine that i actually choose to take up the position as a prison officer by the Singapore Prison Department...i rejected all the previous offer and keep thinking what i really wanted to be or do for at least the next five years...So in the end i choose to be a prison officer of all..cos i wanted to be different from the rest of my friends...a 9-6pm office work...a mundane job..To me...i wanted to find something that interest me..A Prison Officer to me is always a challenging job...not a mundane job at all...got to impact and change the life of the inmates...i want to be the light that shines in the midst of their darkness..just like Jesus who shine light into the darkeness of peoples' life..i wanted to be of help to them...giving them a second chance in life...as i always believe in giving people a second chance in their life...So i went for the interview with them and then got to go through a English Proficiency test in order to pass through the interview section...And Praise the Lord for that i Passed...i got the letter to ask me to go back for a physical trial test and a job perview regarding the benefits etc..I really got to thank God for always being there to encourage me all these while...Everytime when people said is impossible for me to get in wan...cos is a government job...is always so strict and also people say i cant stand all the physical training etc...But i am going to rebute u guys all out there who said i cant succed that i will passed through all the testing and training cos i know this is what God wanted to be in...With God,nothing is impossible...i know i cant do this with my own strength and understanding but i had decided to be a line crosser...i am going to cross the line of impossibilities, unknown, comfort, positive affirmation and lastly the pull of the world..I can do all things through God who strengthen me...So dun think of pulling me down with all your negative thoughts DEvil...U will never win cos i am a child of God..U cannot Touch me!!
But even i got to go through another stages again after this interview...but i am going to try my best to do it...as i know when God is for me...no one is against me... So i am going to go all out for God, myself and people who believe in me...Especially my Dear, Gloria, Daniel and my fellow cell group members and my cell group leader etc...Without their encouragement i will not have the courage to take this step of faith to go on...So Thanks a lot guys for being there for me...My boyfriend had always be there standing for me...comfort mi when i am so down..encourge me with the words of God to go on believing that i can do it..Thank a lot Dear...u are always the gift that God has blessed me with..
So guys i will update u again on the process of this whole journey...Please continue to pray for mi k..SEe Ya Soon

The Past one year

2005-12-18T20:24:00.000+08:00

Hey guys...realise that i have not been bloging for so long...but before this year coming to an end...i just want to recall what has happened over this past year...Thsi whole year has been the darkest valley of my life...i cant believe that things are actually happening so fast till i lost track of it...
First thing is that my grandpa had passed away...i can see that he was suffering, struggling to live that time when he was in ICU but in the end he still cant pull thorugh...i was so depressed...that he was my closed one...always there for mi...living with our family since i was born and he would gave us anythign that we want in out life...and i reali reali love him a lot...i was so affected by it that for the whole two months i cant sleep...i would woke up in the middle of the nite to cried cos i kept on dreaming of him...i cant bear to let him leave mi...i prayed so hard and so long for God to relieve my pain...that i will once again smile and have the joy of the lord be reflected in my life but i jsut cant...i felt i am going into depression...i cant lift up myself...i would cried out of the sudden on train when memories of my grandpa flashes past...and till now i still miss him...my faith began to waver and felt cheated by God...i hate myself for being so weak...i cant even bring myself to go and visit my gandpa in hosptial that time cos i will always be crying after seeing him...and i know i need to pull myself out of the dark pit or else i will forever remain in there...i got very emotional and that time i stil got to rush a lot of school projects to do...i just cant even pray cos i lost passion and interest in everything...even wanted to leave church etc...
However God is still good..God has blessed me with my boyfriend...he was there the whole time...encouraging me all the way...telling mi to dun give up and no matter wat happen he will be there for mi..and he also prayed for mi...after he knew about my grandpa death,he immediately wanted to come down and comfort mi but i cant i got to prepare my grandpa death ceremony...i think i cried dun knw how many times in the phone to him regarding this and tears will just flows down uncontrollingly when i think of my grandpa while i was with my bf...he will always be there to lend mi his shoulders...comforting mi...and i knew he felt sad to see him like this...he told mi for mine and God's sake..."Stacy u must be strong,u cant go on like this..no matter wat God and me will always be there for u,stacy"...even as he prayed for mi i can sense God's presence and tears will jsut flows down...
Following that in the middle of this year i found lumps in my body also...went to check up and is yet another trial for mi again...and just recently i was so stress up by my attachment and project that i collapse again as in my emotion went wild where i catn control it at all...and it started to affect my health as it caused mi to have giddiness till i cant do my work...not to say school work...once again i felt frustrated with myself for being so weak...i wanted to be well again...able to do my daily stuffs and able to serve God better and more...several tiems i nearly gave up as there will not be any improvement even if i had prayed...and mi and my bf been quarrelling quite often that time too but once he knew of my sickness he compromise and try not to quarrel with mi that much...There was once that i got to attend a choir practice after my school and project on friday and i felt so uncomfortable that my head is just so numb that i cant think and immediately after seeing my bf...i told him abt it and he jsut called my cgl telling him that he may be going to overnight prayer meeting which he desire to go but becos i am sick and he got to send mi home...he cant reah church in time and he called his choir helper that he cant attend that choir practice also as he need to send mi home...i was really very touched by his action for his willinginess to accompany mi home all the way after his work to boon lay and from boon lay to amk and then he went back to boon lay for prayer meeting later after accompanying mi to see doctor...and becos of his encouragement and my leader prayer that i went through this and i am not longer feeling emotional again...thank God...
So in short a lot of bad things happened over the past one year and one great thing that happen to mi is firstly i am more into serving God in greater way...now that i am involved in the expo choir team...and also lastly being attached to my bf...i always wanted someone who is patient and is able to lead mi in the word of God...serve God together with mi and Thank God that he is here now with mi...he is an SOT graduate...a choir member...everything that i wished for...and God granted my desire with His and my leader's blessing in this relationship...if ever my bf come upon this webpage, this is what i just want to say..."Dear i know i had said so many times thank to u...but other than that i dun know how to express how touched i am...i am so happy that u are always beside mi, supporting mi over this past one year..u never left mi a single moment when i need u or when i was down...know that we may quarrel sm time but i know that u always love mi and Dear i just want to say I LOVE U too.."
Anyway jsut want to wish everyone a merry meery christmas as christmas is drawing nearer...and have a joyful day that day delebrating with ur closed ones and let them feel the love of christ on that day...and after this will be a brand new year...and do set ur goals for the year...c u guys soon

God is so awesome!!

2005-06-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone i am back to writing my blog again...recently got a lot of things happen and things happen so fast that i cant accept it at such a short time...and i feel like collapsing...feel like giving up...and i prayed and God speak to mi regarding my suitation but still i feel so emotionally unstable sometimes till i wanted to give up myself..
But i got a thing to thanx God for that is my relationship...I thank God for Him to come through for both of us finally...Both of us really go through so much and we are finally together after months...To him is already a year plus that he wanted this relationship but he only confess to me few months ago and only then i realise my feeling for him...i prayed so much for this relationship..cried out to God for direction and strength to go on believing in his word that this relationship will be recognised and blessed by the leaders...and indeed the God that we serve is a great God..He make it all possible for us finally..pastors and leader have already give their blessing to both of us and both of us are really so happy and we feel so blessed...and with our leaders' blessing we believe that this relationship will be a long lasting one and we will treasure each other more...i always keep this three Cs in my mind that is Communication, Cherish and Compromise..And i reali want to abide in this...Initially everything seems so dark infront of us...i so wanted to give up halfway because of restriction and we dun even dare to talk to our cgl abt this and finally God speaks to mi that i reali need to tell my leader about us and i did...and even though a lot of things happen in between...but i always believe that God is in the midst of us and He wil not let anythng break it...I hold firm to the word of God that he will surely bless this relationship and keep asking me to have patient and have faith in Him that God is in control of this...and He did...Thank You,God for making all these possible...i reali cant express how thankful i am...
Lastly is my grandpa who has been admitted to the hospital for the past week...It has been such a tough journey for mi during the past few days...especially on thursday...when the hospital called and asked us to rush down and see my grandpa as he is sent into ICU...i am so scared...so scared that my grandpa just leave us like this...but i feel peace for the first few days that my grandpa is in hospital cos i know he will be fine and be out soon...nothing is going to happen to him..but my faith started to waver cos i saw my grandpa infront of mi...it hurts mi so much to see him lying down there...i am so sad that tears just roll down...i tell God,God i love my granpa so much that i wan God to heal him and dun take him away from mi...and i know that when i ask in faith i shall receive it in faith...these days i am so emotional unstable that i will be sad and cried when i think of my grandpa out of a sudden especially the images will keep flushing infront of mi and i feel so scared and sad...but i thank God that He speaks to mi, telling mi not to be afraid, He will be here for mi..my granpa will be fine...I promise not to look at my suitation but at God..i believe that as God has come through for my medical stuff, my mum, my grandmum and even my relationship..why cant be my grandpa...All those are my closed ones and God reali heals..He heals me of my lumps, my mum and grandmum and i know that God is always there for mi and i believe by faith that my grandpa will survive and pul through this as the God i serve is a healer...so all of u keep praying for my grandpa and i will surely bring u all good news...amen

Thanx God for the Breakthrough!!

2005-05-09T14:10:00.000+08:00

Hey friends, i just want to update u all about my medical condition.. Firstly i went for an mini operation two weeks ago on my body where my lumps are. The purpose of the mini operation is to extract tissues in the lumps for lap test to see whether is cancerous or not..Honestly speaking i reali scared out of my wit when i first know that i need to undergo this operation and especially when this operation onli use asthetic on that part of the body that need to be operated..and not the whole body letting mi to have a peaceful sleep...and i am that kind of person that reali scared of the word "Pain"..so i prayed very hard and reali cried out to God for strength...days before the day comes i am still serving in church to do the live recording stuff...even though i am scared but i feel by honouring God first, everything will be fine...nothing is ever impossible to God..and the night beofre the operation, i cant reali get to sleep and reali got to thanx him for listening to mi on the phone,telling him how scared am i and he even prayed for mi through the phone..i am so touched sia..

The day came which i got to be there in hospital early in the morning for the operation and the hour finally arrived when i need to be there lying on that cold steel bed waiting for the operation..That kind of feeling is terrible!!But the God that i serve is a great God..i can feel that He is there for mi..and the whole operation took at least 2 hours to complete and i got at least 20 jabs on the area where my lumps are..thats the most number of injection i got ever in my life..and i dun knw how but certainly by the strength given by God that i managed to go through the whole operation and started to sing praises to Him even when i am lying on the bed resting after that operation..And the past few days i rest at home and for the first two days is not very good as my wound starts to bleed and i am reali very sacred...but i prayed to God for strength as i wanted to serve Him the nxt following week in choir for chinese ministry..And thanx God i did as God heals mi and let mi able to serve Him once again..Amen

SEcondly i got back my medical report on my analysis of my lumps last thursday and thanx God the report is a good wan...the lumps are onli fibre and tissue in it and not cancerous cell and reali thanx God for it...I reali got my breakthrough...through this, i let my family members especially my mum to come to know what my God can do for mi..She always say if Jesus is so awesome then let Him heal mi of my lumps and praise the lord, God reali did cos Jesus heals!!And i prayed to God that through this my parents will get to know Him and soften their hearts towards mi being a christian..And here i reali wanted to show my appreciation for all my friends who show concern towards mi especially my cgl,cgm and friends for praying for mi..

Lastly i wanted to thanx God for reali granting the deep desire of my heart..regarding relationship matter..I can reali feel that God has reali come through for us when i speak to my cgl about it..and not long from now, i think i am going to another new phrase of my life already..And one thing i learn from it is that no matter wat matter, we always got to put our trust in God..Let God be in the central of a relationship and God always comes in at the right time,never too late or too early and i thanx God for that as onli God knows when is the best timing.. Pray hard and ask God for a word if the cirumstances are too hard for u and His words will indeed pull you through...always listen to the voice of God and not the voice of your circumtances..thats all folks and remember to keep mi in prayers and hope to bring u all the good new soon..

Thanx God for everything!!

2005-04-28T13:10:00.000+08:00

Actually i am so blessed...indeed christianity is not always a bed of roses but i learn to take joy in trials and tribulation that is in my life cos through this comes perservance and patient...and wats more more faith in God in blieveing in Him with ur suitation...Pastor once said there are two options when faced with trials or low valley in ur life that is 1) look at ur suitation or 2)look at God..So i choose the second option...Cos in God,nothing is impossible..Amen. Just want to share good testimonals with u guys that happen to me over the past few weeks..

As i read the past entries in my blog..i realise that God has reali blessed mi tremendously..I attend Benny hinn conference as a choir member...almost everyday got to take cab home after choir practice cos the next day still got to go school...and that time of period is also project period but the God that i served is Good and Faithful...He gives mi strength to do finish my project and also also going every single night to benny Hinn conference without my parents complaining abt it...Such a miracle...Thanx God..To mi i feel aiyo,everyday take cab home very expensive and think reali cant go on like this but God that i serve is a God of Abundance..Once again after that conference,my grandad bless mi with 50 dollaR and just recently my dad bless mi with another 50 bucks...So once again i am blessed... And of course, not forgetting the presence of God that is so strong during benny hinn conference where i feel so strongly first time in my life when benny hinn prayed for the choir and the whole choir just fall under the presence..that is like so so strong ...i just feel so blessed cos during the whole week, my parent never ever scold mi about mi arriving home late...i still remember every night after the conference i will just pray to God saying God please soften my parent's heart so that they will not scold mi and true indeed, God make it happen once again...Thanx God..I just feel that an breakthrough is going to come true for mi because of this event..

Another thing i want to thanx God is about relationship problems in my life..honestly speaking i got quite a lot of past cases regarding relationship problem...but sad to say that whenever i ask God about them...God will never give mi an straight forward answer...i been praying to God for an christian bf who can guide mi in my walk with God,that can serve together with mi towards the same vision that the ministry or the church has...and also i dun reali know wat i wan in the past...keep asking God to choose for mi instead of mi asking God the choice that i have made...Until recently,then i realise that the person that i searching for all along is by my side,he is always there for mi regardless of watever i face...be it that i am sad or happy...He is always so patient towards mi when i am in a bad mood,throwing temper at him...most of the time he always compromise or give in to mi when we quarrel...i think onli him can stand my temper. Reali thanx God for him in my life as in my lowest of lowest he is the one who is there for mi and not forgetting God aso...And indeed i will treasure him even when there are tough times that is to come by...

So much things is happening in my Life!!

2005-04-23T17:10:00.000+08:00

It has been very long that i come here to blog about my life..First of all...This year is really a challenging year for mi as this year is reali a year that i got to have faith and trust in the Lord...Beocs of several reason and one of them is that i found lumps in a part of my body...when i found out about that...i literally cried myself to sleep..even on the train i feel like crying...cos lumps in body may means cancer...so i cried out to God...seeking strength from Him...And God reali answers my prayers that i will be ok...and i got a few of my christian friends who can reconfirm with mi...But i will still wavered in my faith regarding this issue in my life at times...sometimes reali find it so hard to trust in the Lord when things around u seems so dim...So whenever i got fear i started to prayed to God...lifting my fear to Him...And true enough i got confirmation above confirmation that God will see mi through this and when all these are over...i will get my breakthrough...and i went for yesterday operation to extract sample of the tissue in my lump to run lab test to see whether is it cancerous...and once again while waiting for the result,i take mi great faith to believe in the things that God has spoken to mi..."Fear not for I am with you"...
Another thing is about relationship with people...i have been praying to God...asking God is this the decision that i should make...sometimes i just feel so hurt by the other party cos again and again the other party fails to perform his promises...it reali takes tremendous faith to trust God in this relationship and sometimes i will question whether God "do i have the strength to go on?"...and God indeed answer again that..."Child,go ahead i give u the strength"...I reali wanted it to have a good ending but dun know why everytime it just get harder than the previous time...I am reali at a lost...dun know wat to do....wat to say and wat to react...but the onli thing i can do now is to Pray once again to ask for God's guidance as He is the Light and my Guide...
I reali hope that all these are what God has been trying to tell mi and not my own illusion...And if is God's will then nothing can break the relationship but of course if it is not then by all means let anything break it...even though i tried so hard to slavage it but in the end i know that God knows what is the best for mi...so i trust Him in all things and if is beat for mi God will surely protect it.

God is Great!!

2004-12-20T15:59:00.000+08:00

Hey guys...great testimonals to share with u all..Firstly,i reali got a breakthrough some time back last few weeks..i still remember the last second week before school starts...i went to visit my grandmum..intially i dun reali wanted to go there but i thought to myself i got to go becos i always remember wat pastor has said..and in order to reah out to my grandmum i got to spend time with them...so i went with my dad...and never did i think that God has in stored some thing for mi there...My Aunite and uncle suddly thought of going to malaysia for holiday and started to ask my dad to go with them but my dad got to work and out of my suprise my dad said,"My daughter can go..ask her go lor..she is now having her holiday"..and indeed God is Good..My aunite just approach mi and ask mi whether i am interested to go or not..At first my reaction was huh?go with them will i be bored?but i do not know y my mind keep sayign stacy u got to go..spend time with them and even spread the word of God to them...then i say ok i will go..cos to mi is the holy spirit that is probing mi to do so..and i want to glorify His name..so i went with the idea of telling them more abt God..
So i went with my aunites and uncle for onli a short trip of 2 days 1 nite stay in melaka..But know wat...the whole full trip is fully funded by my dad...whaha...God is good all the time..He never short changed us..He is so willing to bless us over wat we can imagine..My dad actually funded my expenses which means giving money for mi to spend on things that i wan to buy and my aunite volunteer to pay for all my meals there...And i am so blessed by that...For the whole 2 days trip to malaysia..i spend a lot of time telling them abt church which they did ask mi abt it..and praise the lord for that..they are very open abt it and have no objection even of mi becoming a christian..they even encourage mi to tok to my parent abt it...asking mi to try to explain to my parent..Before i went for the trip i thought to myself i wan to tok to them more...know more abt them..let them have a changed opinion abt christian and they did..not by my own strength but God..After the whole trip..my dad told mi that my aunites and uncle all sing praises abt mi infront of him...my dad said look like have a great time with them cos they say i behave vy well and reali have a great chat with them...And they said it will not be the last time that they ask mi to travel with them..they said they will even happier to bring mi a long with them to even further countries like Australia or New Zealand...So i reali thanx God for that trip...with all expenses cover up...Indeed i think of the hard time that i am having when asked to give the mission funds..and i trust God all along..and i gave..and now i reap...To mi the verse..sow and u shall reap is never so true to mi ever since that time onwards...
another thing is i recently got my DREAM hp that is N-Gage...yes...thanx God for that..my friend sold it to mi at a vy low cost..intially i thought to myself where can i get money to buy the hp from my friend...so i prayed and God hears my prayer..and i pay half of it with the money i got from selling my previous hp and just recently my grandpa struck toto and so i do not need to pay him back the money that he lend it to mi to pay for the hp that i brought from my friend and in addition i got extra 30 dollar from my grandpa for the malaysia trip...Is such a great wk to mi..
Lastly i just want to share with u all this...Phil 4:19,But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus..God not onli supply us with quantity which comes by giving to evanglistics events but also quality..So let us dun stop giving especially to ministry that spread the word of God to others...So that we can continue to rec blessing from God in both quantity and Quality!!Amen!!

Say NO To Depression!!!

2004-10-22T22:35:00.000+08:00

Hi fellow brothers and sisters in christ...have this feeling that God wants mi to reah out and hlp pple who are in depression...anyway those who are u out there....hope that the advices and suggestions that i give...reali help u all...
I know u all will say there are no one out there to understand wat i am saying or even feel wat i am feeling....but i can tell u one thing...God can!!He can feel wat u are feeling...whether is sadness..disappointment...anger etc...He understands and He loves all of u...dun need to feel guilty becos of ur depression...cos U are precious in His eyes...God looks at each of our hearts....He who is true to Him thus i urge all bro and sister to reali trust and believe in Him to have a breakthrou....dun give up guys...press on...i strongly encourage to tell someone about ur feeling or emotion...dun shut urlf off from the rest....i pray that all of u will be able to open up... i knw that u will say when i tell pple ,pple will feel that i am seeking attention...but wat i can say is no matter wat pple say and if u are feelign terrible...just tell someone who is able to encourage or give good advices to u..
i also pray that God will will send someone that understand ur condition in ur life to hlp u all along...cos frdz that u have is aso vy impt...i am a person that had depression a yr+ back then...but now i am free!!i am completely healed by Him...just believe by His stripes,u will be healed!!and U will!!remeber dun let ur emotion control U,U shld be the one controlling them...dun ever let them control U and pray for strength in u all to take control of ur emotion...Jia you guys...dun give up...Everything is possible throu Him...Focus on Him...and i believe one day u will rejoice cos ur depression will be gone...and u cant stop thinking postively in whatever circumstances that u are in....Amen..
In closing i will like to take this opportunity to pray for all of u.i pray that god will give u strength to go through ur depression...to have faith and trust in Him that throu Him u will be healed completely...pray that god will have someone in ur life to be there for u when u all need someone to tok to...i pray that the person is able to understand ur feeling and wat u are trying to say...lord i just pray that ur holy spirit wil be with them all the time...protect them..letting them able to control their emotion..pray that the joy of the Lord is always with them...amen!!

New Revelation!!

2004-10-07T01:27:00.000+08:00

hahaha...look like i got so much inspiration to write so much posts at this hour of time lor...hahah..so bear with mi lor...i just wanted to share my new vision for up coming mths to nearing this year end lor...i wanted to end this yr off with an explosion...moving on to another level...
firstly i feel i can praise and worship god in my quiet time with my guitar liao...when i took out my goals that i set for this yr...i am so glad cos i have alrdy fufill most of them...one of them is i am in choir now and aso my guitar skill have improve a lot lor...thanx god for that...praise the lord...i see myself growing in the lord and i dunw an to lose it..i dunw an to lose the anointing ...the presence of god...
so here is my new goals for the rest of the mth till yr end...that is firstly i wan to rise up in my ministry that is choir...i wanted to rise up to hlp my ministry...being a choir helper or even a back up vocalist for chinese church..and aso in future english svc lor...in addition to that in watever bible seminar there are...i wil always volunteer to hlp out if possible...i am so excited abt all this...doing greater things for Him..prayed that god will use mi in a greater way...then after is possibly hlp out in cg if the cg needed my help...which i think they need it lor...promotion doesnt come from men but from god...i nv reali wanted that title at all ...just wanted to hlp out in any areas that neede my services...i wanted to just concentrate on the works of god and not all those relationship stuff..even though i am facing a lot of problems regarding relationship in my life...bt i told myself and promise god that i will nv give up lor...even though once again the relationship issue arises again...i though i will be gone if this going to happen...but i dun knw y...i feel strength in mi ...asking mi to keep on believing...dun give up...as bible has said seek his kingdom first and all those things shall be added to u...this verse has kept mi going on and on...my faith has grow stronger and stronger ....i been praying more and more like nv b4...i feel sm things great is going to happen to mi and is good lor...
so i believe in serving Him well with all my best...He will nv stop to bless mi...having his presence with mi till the end of the earth.....and i thanx Him for his anointing and his presence...always so tangible and loving...so bor and siter in chirst...dun stop serving Him...let his presence always be with u all, all the time...amen..

So blessed!!

2004-10-07T01:07:00.000+08:00

hihi just wanted to share this testimony to all of u out there....still rememebr last last sunday when pastor preach abt blessing others...breakthrough in our finanical difficulties....pastors that day actually prayed for pple who need a breakthrough in their finanical difficulties...actually i shld go dwn and being layed hands on but i nv....
anyway i already have an amt for tithes even b4 pastor ask us to give...but when pastor ask us to give that moment...i believe that the holy spirit spoke to mi lor...tell mi to give another amt...greater than the amt i alrdy have given...then i wonder reali anot...so much if i give...i told God i sure no money to even eat my lunch and go out with my frdz after svc...but i remember wat pastor tan has said...rather to obey the holy spirit than to miss it...so i obeyed even though i knw i may not have money to eat or go out...but i have faith that god will nv short changed mi lor...
so i give another amt instead of the previous wan...and after svc..my cg went to the church coffee shop to eat our lunch...and miracle happen lor...cos out of no where...a sister comes over and bless mi with 20 dollars...whom i dun even knw lor...and that sister aso dun knw mi lor...she just said she wanted to blessed mi lor...and this si the first time i took pple money just like that without knowing that person....i am so blessed...is such a miracle lor...
following days of the coming weeks...i am further blessed with over an 100+ amt for my birthday...i nv expect pple who will give mi hongbao for my birthday...reali went to my dad and gave the hongbao to mi lor...and one of my aunt actually give mi 50 dollar...and total all the blessing , i actually got 300+ dollar for the mth of sept which i pledge to give the most for my mission funds...intially still thinking how to fufill that amt but now thinking back is reali no problem at all...the amt is given by god to mi so god will ensure that i will be able to fufill lor...amen...reali thanx god for all this blessing...i reali got this to say god is always good all the time...i am indeed vy blessed...and i actually blessed my poly frdz and aso my brother...is a blessing to blessed others lor...give is better than received without giving...i feel reali reali vy blessed...
this is a miracle happening to mi cos last time i nv think such blessing will fall upon mi lor...is onli for others ...but no lor...i experienced it liao...and thanx god for this...cos this has keep mi believing in Him more...wanted to draw even closer to Him...increasing my faith like nv before...so bro and sisters in christ...dun ever doubt god ability...when u feel all cirumstances are so bad for u....is nv bad with god arund with us lor...have faith and believe....thats all i wanted to share....hope it blessed u all

First time accepting Him into my life

2004-06-29T15:51:00.000+08:00

It has been 1 year and 2 mth onli...i still rememeber that i first accept Him is just last year April in the year 2003...Actually i been in church since secondary schl bt i nv did accept Him..till that time..I though to myself that i dun wan to waste my youth anymore..i dun wan a life without Him anymore.....i never regret accepting Him into my heart...God indeed changed a person lor..i become more closer to Him after my A level...i then realise how important He is in me..amen!!
I am the onli christian in my family and my whole family is Anti-Christ..bt i feel is ok cos i believe wat the bible has said..Once saved..all will be saved in the household!!amen!!So i have so much persecution and condemation frommy frdz and even my family member..bt i think to myself is nthing comapre to the disciple of jesus back in the book of Acts..they even face death in their life when spreading the gospel..so wat i am facing now is reali nthing compare to them.
I so happy...as i been walking with Him this one year...all my frdz in the past can sense that i have changed a lot (all my best frdz are non-christian)..in my attitude and even my actions..They told mi "stacy, u have changed"..bt wat most impt is to let my frdz see wat has God do in my life.. my aim is to let them see God through me!!Even my parent sense a sense of happiness in me these days..i no longer worry about my studies or even put it at my top pirority..i lift up all this to God alrdy!!thats y i nv worry!!amen!
And i so happy to serve him in choir..i feel my calling in there..i wan to serve Him well there..singing for Him and able to touch the hearts of pple with my voice and may even led pple to christ with my Voice..my studies now are much better even after i serve Him..i believe God will never fail to bless His children when they serve Him faithfully..amen!I aso got a lot of breathrough inmy family,cos they no longer restrict mi so badly as in the past..they even knw that i serve in Choir..even though they are not vy happy abt it..bt they still let mi go cos they knw there is one thing they cant stop mi that is to Serve Him..
In conclusion i just wanted to know more abt Him..serve Him more..grow more in Him..fufill His calling for mi..Lord,i pray that You will use mi..amen

Emerge Conference

2004-06-22T18:00:00.000+08:00

Next i wan to tok abt How Emerge Conference has changed my life...push my spiritual life to another level...which i am so thankful for wat has God in store for mi..
So from june 1-3,is our church Emerge Conference..so excited for this Conference..see how can it impact my life..and it indeed did lor...i sing in choir for almost all the sessions...i sing 4 out of 7 sessions in total..praise the Lord..i feel so honour to be able to serve..these three days are the days i experienced God's presence so strongly...so tangibly..i wept for almost all the session and i can see all the youngesters in CHC is so fired up for Christ..amen..
During the Emerge Cofnerence..i sung for quite a lot of session and i got a vy terrible cramp in my leg...actually is the whole body after wednesday..after singing for the whole day in church..and i still got to sing for thur,the final night and friday service..i wonder how i am going to serve on friday...and i just pray that God i s my healer and i knw He will heal mi..without any doubt i believe and pray that by friday i will be able to serve...and indeed..God is Good!!I feel better on friday and i still continue to serve and i am completely healed "BY HIS STRIPES" on saturday!Amen!!
After the Emerge i experienced..God almost everywhere i go...last time i tend to struggle to feel holy spirit...or even finding God's presence when i worship or pray..bt now it seems so easy...now whenever i prayed and open my mouth to sing...i can feel Him...so strongly..that i wept almost everytime i worship..i feel so numb..goosebump all over me..and i knw is His presence..i aso struggled to feel His presence on stage when i sing on stage for service..but praise the Lord..i never ever need to struggle anymore cos i can Feel His presence on stage now...i Feel Him there on stage last friday on stage..actually is every time i went on stage to serve after Emerge Conference..reali feel so thankful..and i indeed yearn for Him more than ever after that Conference...now whenever i go..i sing and i can feel..even in cell group,in my quiet time..i can alrdy...without fail...thanx U LORD!!
nxt i wan tok abt my breakthrou in guitar...i been learning guitar for a year..bt still no improvement..i love to worship and praise Him with my guitar..this is my goal for this year...i thought of giving up bt i pray and have faith that God will one day send mi a person to teache mi...and indeed,He answers my prayer...he did..just recently i found myself a bro in another cg to teache mi with no string attached..i so blessed...he lives near church at boon lay bt becos i have fiancial difficulties..i cant go all the way to boon lay...he agreed to come near my place to teache mi...Lord,i feel so overwhelmed by ur blessing..i knw he is certianly from God...all this happen to mi after Emerge Conference lor..And one more thing my parent..i got a BREAKTHROU!!amen!!my parent never did complain abt mi going to Emerge...and singing for almost all the session..i thought i sure to be scolded when i reahed home that day when i need to sing for one whole day...bt they nv say anything lor..praise the Lord!!i went to sing for tue,wed,thur for Emerge then friday for service and lastly sat i went for the festival of praise..hillsong is there!!and nv did i knw that when i serve God..he always there to make a way out for us..No scolding from parent!!yes!!
For mi...this Emerge indeed is so powerful..i got so much faith than b4..and i trust that no matter wat we prayed for...God will answer our desire..He will!!habve faith..bro and sister in christ!!i been onli for a session for Emerge last year...bt i cant feel anything as strong as this yr..so i strongly encourage everyone of u to go for all session nxt yr..So lastly dun give up..continue to pray..let God see ur desire..wat ur heart reali desire..He gives!!Amen!!i give thank to Him everything i have now!!!

My Ministry

2004-06-22T14:19:00.000+08:00

So today i will tok abt how i got into choir and y did i choose choir as my minstry..
So i been in church for a yr and 2mths alrdy...i just joined CHC choir this year April onli..so now onli 2 mth old..So intially when i step into CHC..i feel the choir is so awesome..i can see so many young pple so filled with passion all ready to praise and worship Him.And whenever i attend service,i will cry lor after that...i am so touched by the presence of God and i all along love to sing aso..so whenever i sing..i cry...i mean in church lar.
So i told my cgl that i wan join choir when he asked wat minstry i wan to join at that time...but my cgl doesnt approve that time...he wanted mi to join Ursher..but i dun wan and continue to pray abt this to God lor..So just this year april i think,my cgl told us that there is a choir audition coming up and asked who is interested to go..and then the whole cg just look at mi lor..bt i that time didnt feel ready and right abt going in yet...cos actually i feeling vy dry deep inside mi..and in my heart i say aiya,my cgl sure will not allowed wan lor..so can forget it liao..But who knows God has a plan for mi alrdy..my cgl suddly say ok..stacy u be the one to go then for this coming choir audition...i like "HUH?mi?sure or not?"...then he says yes..i recommend u in even though i am still not an OM yet...he says i have faith in u,stacy.Go for it lor..
And on that day of the audition,i called my cgl to confrim is he signing mi up...cos i still dun believe that my cgl agree lor..so i called him and to my horror i found out he nv cos he was away to reservist..so forget abt it..but he says is ok..he go do it lor..and that time ia alrdy 3pm lor and audition is 8pm that day..i think to myself..maybe is God's will of mi not to go that ministry..but God is certainly Good lor..erm my cgl's gf called mi who is aso a cgl lar..say okok..everytthing is done..asked mi go choir audition lor...dun knw y i suddly dun feel like going lor..but i prayed and i had this feeling to ask mi to go and try out..if is reali my calling to serve there,then i will..Let God's will be done in mi lor..
So i went..and praise the Lord..is was so great..after the audition i just lifted everything to God and Let Him do the rest..actually almost all the pple in my poly class know abt mi going for my church choir audition..and they all supported mi even though they are non-chrisitan..After think a week,suppose my cgl tell mi whether i passed the audition or not bt rather a member from choir called mi and say "yes!!i got in liao..ask mi go for the first practice"!!Amen...i am so happy..Going into choir is always my dream and i can see it coming to pass lor..Thanx God!!i alrdy been praying of getting into choir ministry for a year alrdy.so people out there if u still dun have a ministry now and dun knw where to go...ask God for direction..He will show u!!...maybe not now cos is still not time yet...but i believe that one day God will show u..He will reveal his plan for u gradually...Amen..Keep praying k..

Life without God

2004-06-20T14:25:00.000+08:00

kk...this time got to keep it short..pple complain too long liao...kk so i started and decided to went into junior college that is serangoon junior college..near serangoon there...ya my life in junior college is horrible lor...i leave God...i concentrate so much on my studies that time...even though i work so hard...so hard still i cant pass my subjects...let mi tell u lor...i studied everyday basck then...12 hours a day...even wkends i will lock myself at hm to study and for wkdays i will finish my dinner and locked myself in my room and studied till 2am every day...but my result dun went up but keep failing...i ask myself "WHY!!!"So my result cant make it always fail...get F or an E for every subject..My condition improved after medication...
As for my character.even worse lor..i got very hot temper again...i will get angry so easily and impatient..I got a period of time b4 A level that i went into depression..very bad condition...i cant slp at nite...til the nxt morning arund 5am then i can slp then an hour after that i went to school and slp lor cos the whole entire nite i cant slp...it lasted for a week..i cried myself to bed..with all the formula in my head...i just CANT STOP THINKING abt my studies..my head is so cramp...i think of committing sucicde aso...cos i cant control myself..i feel i die alrdy everything will be solved lor...my self-esteem is so low...i cant even face myself in the mirror..i even told my mum i will go jump down and die if i cant pass my first year in JC..till my mum get so worried and calle dmi after my result has come out and i paseed lor...even for my A level,i say if i cant get into universtiy i will "GO DIE,no face to face them"...IT got so worse that my friend recommend mi to go see a psychologist...but i never...cos i am not siao lor..but i need went to see a doctor..and he said i too stress i need to relax or else i cant tk it...i dun knw y when the doctor said that i started to cry out of no reason...
next will be my health..i have spoil it last time...i studied too much till i got to see doctor every three mths cos i got fever every now and then...is reali vy horrible..since then i did not reali have a good health but praise the Lord i am much better now by His healing..amen!my relationship with my parent are not in good terms too..my mum keep scolding mi " See lar...ask u go poly dun wan..see study till so lan"..i so depressed listening all these lor...i feel no one can help mi already..i completely forget abt Him..and in addition my relationship with my friends in JC reali cant make it also..i cant click with the classmates in my class..i have no friends..no one to support and encourage mi..
By the end of my Jc life..i got back my result and praise the Lord i came to know abt CHC..i pray so hard for God to be able to put mi through to university...bt i nv got to go in..i failed...bt i still thanx Him cos he got a purpose of puttingmi into poly now...amen!!this whole two years is hell to mi so i tell myself i will never backslide from God..without Him..my life is dead...i regretted that i drifted so far away from Him that two years so now i going to make it up..serve Him all i can...ya so guys never ever go away from God...this is the message i want to tell u all...in my nxt article i will tell u all more about "My New Relationship with Him"..stayed tuned

My First Time Getting to know God

2004-06-19T23:25:00.000+08:00

Ya as i said i went into my secondary school.."Presbyterian High School"..in yio chu kang road lor...Never did i knw that it is a christian school till the time my dad brought mi there the first day...and then my parent knew it is a christian school...and they hate it...cos they hate chrisitans...but deep inside my heart i go this strange feeling...i feel very happy and exicted to go into this school...dun wan y...now i knw y cos God has a purpose in putting mi into this school..To get to know who is Christ..amen.ya so i got into this school unexpectedly...against my parent's wish but i aso dun knw y they put this school dwn in the first place..hahaha...is fated that God is calling mi to mit Him there lor..
First day of school started off with a pastor walking towards the where we aseembled and started to preach to us....is my first time listening to all this preaching..everyone even have to bow down and pray after his message...but of course intially i ignored it...say so "stupid wan...so boring"...but i did see some of my friends there bowing theirs heads and prayed...Of course there are some of us non-christians dwn there...making fun of them..but we are required to be quiet even if we are non-chrisitans...so-called respect the religion...And i actually i continue to pray togehter with the pastor for every assembly for the past 4 years when i am in the school till i graduated..
As days passed...i still as rebellious as b4...scolding pple all arund mi...no one actually dares to come near mi lor..My grades is still as poor as b4...i am in the 12 position in my class by the end of the first year in my secondary school...ya but things started to change when i sense that someone is toking to mi one day in the taxi when i am with my family...they are discussing abt mi in the cab when out of the sudden i feel that someone is telling mi,"I reali got to work hard...i got to study for to make up for all the things i done to my parents...i told myself yes i want to work hard study hard for them".
And indeed...i do it lor...i dun knw y i started to listen to the message of what the pastor has shared during the assembly period and feel that wat he says is reali happening in my life lor...is true man...ya and gradually i follow the prayers after the pastor...and this is when i know abt Christ..then one day of a sudden..during a notice put up at the board i came across this message...Come and Experience Him self ...join us at this time and this place...and i then realised that is actually the church in my school compound that have this activites...activites for youngesters to have fun and in the same time knw God...i pluck up the courage and deep inside my heart...i feel a desire to know God...so i ask my best friends to go along with mi to the church in my school compound...and that day is the day i knew God for the very first time in my whole life...
i went in there dun knw wat to expect...yaya...mi and my best friends just join in the fun and then there is a sinner prayer...that is a prayer that people takes when they received Christ into their hearts..so a pastor approach us and ask us this question,"Are u willing to accept God into your heart?"..without delay my best friend says,"Yes"!!and i am shocked to hear that i feel wats with her man...so fast...then the pastor starts asking mi so "Do u?"i like huh so fast dun wan lar...i mean my parent sure kill mi wan lor...pls lor...so i rejected...i say no i need to consider...but from that day on i knw God has planted a seed in my heart lor...i started to go to church after school...during weekdays i will attend bible studies classes...and even youth activities and also service on sunday...i got such a fruitful day on wkend...and i feel so much joy in mi...so much happiness and peace that i cant find anywhere...even though i did not say the sinner prayer but deep inside my heart i know there is Jesus living in mi..i used to think in the past that as long as i believe and know that He is inside of mi,can liao dun need to confess to pple that i am a christian what...but of course i dun do this now..u will find that i siao liao but i am not lor...i reali can sense that i have change lor...even my parent did...they say "u looked more happier than ever hor" and i tell them abt church.Intially they are against but when they see mi changed into a happier person...they are happy too and even my result prove to them so...i work so hard...pray so hard..and first time without a tuition teacher i got second position in my whole class for the end of my second year lor..amen...praise the lord...even my teacher got to see my parent and talk to them abt my great improvement..."Ur daughter has done very well,madam"...i am so happy....and my parent started to see the Change in mi and they know that God has reali changed our daughter...Amen to that lor...
As for my character,i changed into a completely different person...i started to stop scolding vuglar languages...i will slap myself if i do to remind myself not to and of course pray to God that He will change mi and indeed i did and success in doing so...i can tell u that God is indeed Good...my temper starts to change to the better...ya but still very hot temper..but an improvement..and within months...i never swear anymore...i have succeed in quitting this habit...With God,everything is possible lor...Praise the lord..so mi and my best friends went through our secondary school life in church and thanx God for His blessing that i am able to get scholarship of $500 each year without fail in my 5 years of secondary school life...amen....even my best friend she topped the whole level in N level that time...i managed to get a 4 points in my N level and also not a bad points in my O level...i even went into JC after my O level...reali unbelieveable rite...reali got so much to thanx God about...and also my relationship with my parent also improved a lot lor...my brother actaully look up to mi since then...
However due to some resons i left church after my O level...even then my friends brought mi to City Harvest Chruch that time back in paya lebar...i am not keen alrdy...i foget about God...and focus myself on other things alrdy like my A level...i started to go away from Him...and this i will continue to tell u in the nxt article on "Backsliding from God"...Must stay tuned kk...

My Past

2004-06-19T20:12:00.000+08:00

just wan to say wat is my life was without knowing and accepting Jesus into my heart..
So i begin telling u all about mi in primary school first..I study in Chong Li Primary School lor...but now the school no longer exist anymore ...but for ur information it is at Ang Mo Kio lar...Last time when i am in primary School..my result in school was very horrible...I got a lot of tuition and my parent spend a lot of money solely on hiring people to come my house and give tuition to mi...reali feel so indebted to them now...and in the past i was a very devoted buddhist...i prayed to almost everything i can see...even during the seventh month festival...the Ghost festival...i prayed to the "God" at my block dwnstairs for Good result...the Aim of praying to so many so called "Gods" is to get into express stream so that my mum especially dun scold and hit mi becos she think that i am stupid...In the pst she will always hit mi and scold mi,"U very stupid leh...y would i give birth to this stupid child wan...",this is wat my mum used to say lor...even till now but seldom nowadays liao...so my mum will hit mi just becos i dun knw hw to do my math lor...she taught mi till vomit blood...
So as PSLE is drawing near,my mum took mi to the "Gods" in the temple,to worship,drink this and that, she says can make mi smarter.And i blieve her cos to mi try lor...it will not harm mi anyway...Then i pray to the "God" and chanted 100 times b4 i went to sleep lor...change the cup,some kind of offering on the altar,three times per day..burn incense three times a day aso...i do every thing lor...just to make my the "Gods" happy and my mum think that i am smart and i can go into express stream...i even nearly went into a so called buddhist society...back in then i do not know anything about christ...
As for my character, i am a very rebellious gal.I so called an ah lian...i will scold vuglar languages even to my parents,my friends too...i socld so much so till my friends cant stand mi and all my friends started to leave mi one by one...all cant tolerate my attitude.I lied a lot too...to my friends and parents..lied to them in almost everything i do lor...lying to mi is like a second nature to mi lor in the past.Till one day i started to steal my parent's money each time my mum hit mi..the more she hit mi the more i wan steals money from her...till one day my mum check my piggy bank and discovered that i had so much money in there and she scolded mi and ask y do i do that...till now then i realises how much i hurt my parent...they put so much time and effort in mi but i just cant see it and didnt even have a grateful heart to repay what they have done for mi...so this is when my parent wanted to give mi up ...wanted to send mi into girls home lor....i knw once i am in there there is no way back again...so i told them ya i will promise to change...but deep in my heart i hate them lor...is them who "force" mi to do all this stuff..
So finally the day comes when my PSLE result came out...i am so sad..i got into normal acedmic...i reali nv expected this to happen...my mum went with mi to school to take my result and to my horror..my mum scolded mi from the moment we step out of the school till home...i am so sad...i feel the world is coming to an end for mi...where is all my "Gods"...they nv did help mi at all...i cant find one to comfort mi at all...the whold family scolded mi and condemn mi from that day on...i still rememebr when my brother sit beside mi one day watching tv and suddly my parent say," Dun sit so close to that stupid sister of urs..she so stupid that she might pass the stupid dieases to u and make u as stupid as her lor...go sit other places"..I am so shocked to hear that...they even say,"u have throw our face man"...So from that day on...there is no such thing as God to mi...i am a free-thinker from that on liao...ya this is how i go through my primary school life....sob sob