A Line Crosser for Christ

My Past

just wan to say wat is my life was without knowing and accepting Jesus into my heart..
So i begin telling u all about mi in primary school first..I study in Chong Li Primary School lor...but now the school no longer exist anymore ...but for ur information it is at Ang Mo Kio lar...Last time when i am in primary School..my result in school was very horrible...I got a lot of tuition and my parent spend a lot of money solely on hiring people to come my house and give tuition to mi...reali feel so indebted to them now...and in the past i was a very devoted buddhist...i prayed to almost everything i can see...even during the seventh month festival...the Ghost festival...i prayed to the "God" at my block dwnstairs for Good result...the Aim of praying to so many so called "Gods" is to get into express stream so that my mum especially dun scold and hit mi becos she think that i am stupid...In the pst she will always hit mi and scold mi,"U very stupid leh...y would i give birth to this stupid child wan...",this is wat my mum used to say lor...even till now but seldom nowadays liao...so my mum will hit mi just becos i dun knw hw to do my math lor...she taught mi till vomit blood...
So as PSLE is drawing near,my mum took mi to the "Gods" in the temple,to worship,drink this and that, she says can make mi smarter.And i blieve her cos to mi try lor...it will not harm mi anyway...Then i pray to the "God" and chanted 100 times b4 i went to sleep lor...change the cup,some kind of offering on the altar,three times per day..burn incense three times a day aso...i do every thing lor...just to make my the "Gods" happy and my mum think that i am smart and i can go into express stream...i even nearly went into a so called buddhist society...back in then i do not know anything about christ...
As for my character, i am a very rebellious gal.I so called an ah lian...i will scold vuglar languages even to my parents,my friends too...i socld so much so till my friends cant stand mi and all my friends started to leave mi one by one...all cant tolerate my attitude.I lied a lot too...to my friends and parents..lied to them in almost everything i do lor...lying to mi is like a second nature to mi lor in the past.Till one day i started to steal my parent's money each time my mum hit mi..the more she hit mi the more i wan steals money from her...till one day my mum check my piggy bank and discovered that i had so much money in there and she scolded mi and ask y do i do that...till now then i realises how much i hurt my parent...they put so much time and effort in mi but i just cant see it and didnt even have a grateful heart to repay what they have done for mi...so this is when my parent wanted to give mi up ...wanted to send mi into girls home lor....i knw once i am in there there is no way back again...so i told them ya i will promise to change...but deep in my heart i hate them lor...is them who "force" mi to do all this stuff..
So finally the day comes when my PSLE result came out...i am so sad..i got into normal acedmic...i reali nv expected this to happen...my mum went with mi to school to take my result and to my horror..my mum scolded mi from the moment we step out of the school till home...i am so sad...i feel the world is coming to an end for mi...where is all my "Gods"...they nv did help mi at all...i cant find one to comfort mi at all...the whold family scolded mi and condemn mi from that day on...i still rememebr when my brother sit beside mi one day watching tv and suddly my parent say," Dun sit so close to that stupid sister of urs..she so stupid that she might pass the stupid dieases to u and make u as stupid as her lor...go sit other places"..I am so shocked to hear that...they even say,"u have throw our face man"...So from that day on...there is no such thing as God to mi...i am a free-thinker from that on liao...ya this is how i go through my primary school life....sob sob

posted by stacy @ 8:12 PM