A Line Crosser for Christ

Life without God

kk...this time got to keep it short..pple complain too long liao...kk so i started and decided to went into junior college that is serangoon junior college..near serangoon there...ya my life in junior college is horrible lor...i leave God...i concentrate so much on my studies that time...even though i work so hard...so hard still i cant pass my subjects...let mi tell u lor...i studied everyday basck then...12 hours a day...even wkends i will lock myself at hm to study and for wkdays i will finish my dinner and locked myself in my room and studied till 2am every day...but my result dun went up but keep failing...i ask myself "WHY!!!"So my result cant make it always fail...get F or an E for every subject..My condition improved after medication...
As for my character.even worse lor..i got very hot temper again...i will get angry so easily and impatient..I got a period of time b4 A level that i went into depression..very bad condition...i cant slp at nite...til the nxt morning arund 5am then i can slp then an hour after that i went to school and slp lor cos the whole entire nite i cant slp...it lasted for a week..i cried myself to bed..with all the formula in my head...i just CANT STOP THINKING abt my studies..my head is so cramp...i think of committing sucicde aso...cos i cant control myself..i feel i die alrdy everything will be solved lor...my self-esteem is so low...i cant even face myself in the mirror..i even told my mum i will go jump down and die if i cant pass my first year in JC..till my mum get so worried and calle dmi after my result has come out and i paseed lor...even for my A level,i say if i cant get into universtiy i will "GO DIE,no face to face them"...IT got so worse that my friend recommend mi to go see a psychologist...but i never...cos i am not siao lor..but i need went to see a doctor..and he said i too stress i need to relax or else i cant tk it...i dun knw y when the doctor said that i started to cry out of no reason...
next will be my health..i have spoil it last time...i studied too much till i got to see doctor every three mths cos i got fever every now and then...is reali vy horrible..since then i did not reali have a good health but praise the Lord i am much better now by His healing..amen!my relationship with my parent are not in good terms too..my mum keep scolding mi " See lar...ask u go poly dun wan..see study till so lan"..i so depressed listening all these lor...i feel no one can help mi already..i completely forget abt Him..and in addition my relationship with my friends in JC reali cant make it also..i cant click with the classmates in my class..i have no friends..no one to support and encourage mi..
By the end of my Jc life..i got back my result and praise the Lord i came to know abt CHC..i pray so hard for God to be able to put mi through to university...bt i nv got to go in..i failed...bt i still thanx Him cos he got a purpose of puttingmi into poly now...amen!!this whole two years is hell to mi so i tell myself i will never backslide from God..without Him..my life is dead...i regretted that i drifted so far away from Him that two years so now i going to make it up..serve Him all i can...ya so guys never ever go away from God...this is the message i want to tell u all...in my nxt article i will tell u all more about "My New Relationship with Him"..stayed tuned

posted by stacy @ 2:25 PM